Urahara's New Pet
by Apple Doodle
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Urahara gets a pet. Read on to find out what chaos insues.


**Hi! To everyone who has read my other story, April Fools, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, but it's the easter holidays and I'm kinda busy. Hopefully this little Urahara oneshot will make up for it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, Hitsugaya would be in every single chapter/episode, even if it's just wandering around in the background. Topless. Unfortunately for me (and all those out there who would enjoy the aforementioned idea) I don't own it. Darn. **

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**Urahara's New Pet**

Urahara grinned, as he walked in the door carrying a large object, covered with a cloth to hide what was beneath.

"Everybody! Look what I've got!" he called at the top of his voice. Unfortunately, 'everybody' was out, except for a rather startled Jinta, who'd been sitting right beside him.

"What're you trying do? Burst my eardrums?" shouted the aggravated little boy.

"Jinta, take a look at this!" said Urahara, ignoring Jinta's previous comment, and holding up the large, covered object in his hand.

"What is it?" asked Jinta, a little worried. Knowing his manager, under the cloth was probably some strange contraption that would most likely blow up in his face. Then, Urahara removed the cloth.

It was definitely _not _what Jinta had expected.

Beneath the cloth, was a birdcage, and inside that cage was a brightly coloured parrot, with a crest of red feathers atop its head.

"I always wanted a pet, but unfortunately Abarai-kun doesn't count as he has to go back to the Soul Society all the time, so I got this instead," grinned Urahara.

"You think of Renji as a pet? … And why of all things did you get a parrot?"

"Parrots are cool! And it's one of those talking parrots, too."

"Ok-ay then. So, what's it called?"

"Well, I'm stuck between two names. 'Crackers' isn't very original, you see."

"What's the other name you thought of?"

" 'Renji', of course."

"Oh call it Renji, definitely. I'm sure he'll be extremely pleased when he finds out."

"Okay. Renji it is."

They sat in silence for a few seconds.

"So, you said you could make it talk?" asked Jinta.

"Of course! I haven't tried it yet, but little Renji's such a smart parrot, I'm sure he'll get the hang of it straight away."

"Okay. Do it, then."

"What, now?"

"Yep."

"Fine." Urahara turned to the bird called Renji. "Repeat after me: Urahara Kisuke."

The bird remained silent.

"Urahara Kisuke," repeated Urahara again.

Finally, the little red-crested parrot spoke.

"Urahara, he's gay," said the bird in its squawky little voice.

Urahara stood silently, his mouth hanging wide open. He'd just been called 'gay' by a _parrot_! Jinta put his hand over his mouth, but the boy just couldn't help it and began laughing hysterically. Urahara turned back to his little feathered friend, grimacing.

"Very funny," he said through clenched teeth. "But let's try one more time: Urahara Kisuke."

"Urahara, he's gay," repeated the parrot, dutifully.

"Right, that is it! You, little Renji, are going straight back to the pet shop."

"What, just for that?" asked Jinta.

"Urahara, he's gay," said the parrot. Urahara raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, he only said it the one time." Jinta pleaded the bird's case.

"Urahara, he's gay," said the parrot.

"That would be the fourth time," corrected Urahara.

"Urahara, he's gay."

"And the fifth."

"Oh come on, it _is_ kinda funny, though," said Jinta.

Suddenly, Renji the parrot, who had been quiet for a _whole_ five seconds now, spoke again.

"Jinta loves Yuzu," it squawked.

"What the hell?!" cried Jinta. "How the hell did it do that?"

"You know what?" said Urahara, an evil smirk spreading across his face. "I think I'm going to keep him after all."

"Urahara, he's gay."

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**Yep. That's it. This actually happend to me, btw. Well, kind of. You see, my little brother asked me to play Bleach with him, so I said I'd be Urahara, and he said he'd be a _parrot_. So then, when i got him to repeat Urahar's name in a parrot voice, I thought he said 'urahara, he's gay', and thus this fanfic was born.**

**By the way, for anyone who was wondering what I was doing that made me so busy that I couldn't write another chapter for April Fools, I was feeding my friedn's cat. And another friends rabbits. (What? They live really far away, ok, and I don't have a car so i had to walk.)**

**Anyway, that's it from me for now. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


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